I am nervous about tomorrow and seeing T. Very nervous. I almost cancelled today because my anxiety level is so high!

A few years ago, my first T terminated me without cause. It has caused a HUGE amount of distress in my life.

I have been seeing new T for two years now.He KNOWS how important trust is to me. He KNOWS my struggles with shame.

So.

Two weeks ago, he shared a private email I had written to him, with one of his staff members. I found out by accident, when she sent it back to me as a forwarded email. It felt so...violating.

I am SO. VERY. MAD.

I am SO. VERY. VERY. SAD.

I feel EMBARRASSED and STUPID. Yuck!

It hurts....I ache. I don't want to go back anymore. I feel like I am starting over. AGAIN.