Hi, I am saddened by what has happened to you. I want to ask you to entertain a thought for me. Maybe sometimes drugs are the only way through stuff. You have been to war. Doesn't mean the drugs are forever. Secondly, Mclean is a very very good hospital and they will do all they can to adjust your meds so that they have the least side affects possible. Thirdly, what do you have to lose? Sounds like where you are now is unbearable so maybe turning it over to a well known competent hospital would be the best thing for you right now. I am sorry for all that's happened and all that you are going through. Hang in there. After being butchered by the medical person, Doctor, I would guess that it is very hard to trust. Trust Mclean, you yourself said they are well known. I wish you compassion on your journey. Good luck.