Hi Sanada - I have experienced dark times and what I now realise is that at those times I am just not thinking straight - so for me although people that are left behind may suffer great pain, the person themselves was not a coward, they were jsut really unwell and could think of no other way of stopping their pain. In the UK there are specialist bereavement charities that can offer professional support, I wonder if there are similar where you are? Maybe it is not trying to forget about it that is important, but to talk about it.

Take care Sanada.