Update -
I have 3 job interviews this week so there is a little bit of light at the end of that tunnel.

I called the hotline for Domestic Violence this weekend and spoke to the people in my area about shelter for me and my kitties if neccessary.

They were very nice but I am not in physical danger here. I will talk to my T on Friday about this.
the woman on the phone was encouraging me to go to the police to get a restraining order against my husband, but he has not been violent towards me or threatened violence towards me at any time so I don't think that's neccessary.
when I mentioned that he and I both know a lot of the police here in town, she said
"I don't care how many cop friends he has"
that's not the case - 2 of the cops grew up on MY street - we live in the town we both grow up in. they aren't his friends or my friends. We just know them for a long time, I felt like I was being pushed.
And they were asking about the guns we have in the house, which are unloaded and honestly, I know how to use them too. He doesn't threaten me, he doesn't harm me physically and right now i am not concerned about that. i've been with him for 3 years and he hasn't done that so I need to follow what i'm doing. If I had to run I now know where to go, and I have a plan.
But they do provide free counseling that I may take them up on. Plus, they provide shelter to animals while someone is getting away from their abuser...I'm very overwhelmed with all of this and they kind of made me feel more scared,which i didn't need.