Quote:
Originally Posted by arcangel
I think you are probably right about about the reasons your mom doesn't acknowledge your role. Maybe that will help you deal with the feeling hurt part.
I sympathize w/ the weariness you're feeling and the need for a break. Doing what you're doing is tough. It was necessary for me to keep a constant watch on my mom.
I became her caregiver after she developed a slight dementia. At that time she had no trouble getting around. After a few incidents I learned to sleep with one eye and ear open. It's exhausting and stressful.
If you have a job or go to school that would be pretty much impossible for you.
What would you do if you had oh..like... a two week break?
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Yeah, you're right. After coming to the conclusion that I did about my mom, it did help a little. I don't feel so hurt anymore. The label of 'caretaker' isn't that important to me; it's more that I just wanted her to acknowledge the tremendous, often stressful work that I do for her.
Currently, I'm not in school and I don't have a job. I live with her, so I basically have all the time in the world to look after her. When she was in the hospital a few weeks ago, I had the whole house to myself. I could clean up when I wanted, only had to prepare meals for myself, and could lie around and do nothing. I was actually sort of depressed when I heard that she was coming home. That's what I'd do if I had another break. Just lie around and only tend to myself.
I do feel resentful about something. I'm engaged and plan to be married next September. Because I have to take care of my mom so much, I'll probably never be able to live anywhere else but at home. Our house is big enough to accommodate my fiancé, but it'd be so wonderful to be able to go out and choose my own house, a house that suits my fiancé and me. I feel so tied down. I know it's not her fault, but sometimes I wish I could just have more freedom to go where I want and do what I want.
Sorry for rambling on so much. I've just never had the opportunity to talk with anyone who understands what this is like. It's such a relief, really. Just this little bit of conversation has taken a lot of stress off my back. Thank you everyone.