Long story short-I discovered a poss EA my H was having last year with a co-worker. We have been working through things but trust, my triggers, ect are still issues. Also, an issue-he will not admit to any wrong doing (except one icident that he admitted could have got people talking-which led to me finding out but that his intentions were not to flirt)...

We have been doing a lot better. I know it will take time for me to gain back trust, ect.

I suffer from PSTD from childhood and tend to be anxious and low sometimes. I am currently on meds that cause mood swings.... I love my H and our life together and want to work on things but I have this overwhelming feeling to go away for a few days...I can't as I am sick and he has been taking care of me and I don't want to hurt him and jeopardize our recovery together. The other night-I tried to just sleep the evening away by myself but he kept checking up on me..

Part of me thinks this is a way to self protect so if anything happens again with other women-I won't be so hurt if I start detaching now? I look forward to seeing him after work each night but I have this urge to run away somewhere...I also wonder sometimes if I married him to fulfill the role of the father I did not have in childhood and now I am rebelling b/c he is taking care of me so much?

Any advice? Sorry-I'm in IC..but sometimes it's just not enough...