Welcome to psych central. Yes, yes, I could tell you have PTSD. Just by reading the the first few paragraphs, that was evident.

Six years is a long time invested in your therapy, but don't sell yourself short. Once your therapist has verified that she is in it for the long haul, then trust her in that. Trust is always an issue in psychotherapy -in life.

It is common to be concerned about the health of your therapist. But you must counter those thoughts. It is your therapist's job for self-care just like it is your job for your own self-care. Your therapist will help you with your own self-care, hopefully by modeling (modeling her own self-care.)

How well do you know the cognitive distortions that CBT addresses? Learning them, and reciting them to yourself will help counter those eroneous thoughts you share. It isn't easy, nor is it quick.

Glad you found us here, sorry you need us. Come back and post often