My Support Forums - View Single Post - My girlfriend is pregnant but I'm not happy with our relationship.

NSH4 · Jul 13, 2011, 04:24 PM

Okay, so before the typical answers of “Insert disrespectful phrase here” start flooding this question I have a girlfriend that I’ve been with for a month. Two weeks into our relationship she got pregnant. We both agreed that we did not want a kid cause it was wayyyyyy to soon but the day the positive sign was on the test poof her mind changed. Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled to have a kid also, I understand “sex = baby” and I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to get rid of it while it seemed her mind was made up until she seen results on the test.

My father left me when I was young and I want to be anything but some messed up duchbag that left his kid but it seems that all me and my girlfriend do is argue and I don’t know how to try to compromise any more than I do. We fight over how to discipline her current child, a Beautiful 2yr old girl who gets her way with everything every time she cries. So I sat down with her and we talked about how she wants her child disciplined. And things have been fine since. (We also agreed that we will discipline our kid how we both want. I do understand I am not her father but I def am going to be her something aren’t I?

We argue over stupid little things as well such as she leaves her clothes everywhere, she never takes out the trash, she waits till I complain about how she hasn’t shaved her legs or arm pits, and believe me it’s a lot more than stubble… stubble I can deal with. Never rinses out her dishes that I wash, and always seems to hold things in instead of talking about things with me; or at least arguing it out so we can feel better after. And on top of all of this she gets mad when she goes to bed at 10 or 9 at night and I don’t go to bed with her because she is tired. And I’ve tried to talk to her about this too and it always turns into arguments because were both thick headed and say things wrong to each other. (Were both offensive and easily offended.)

I know it’s not all her and I will admit that I am unemployed currently and watch her daughter while looking for work, cleaning, cooking and pretty much doing anything she needs such as running to the store or bringing her lunch. I even sold my car because her baby daddy can’t be man enough to buy his daughter things. I am a also a fulltime college student on top of that, She buys me cigarettes all the time and she does pay all the bills herself which I do feel bad for because I am doing my best to get a job anywhere even fast food if needed. I love that she helps me, but I never got a chance to get to know her we were just being rabbits and now that we are living together I honestly don’t see things working because I hate to argue, but I am not looking to be a lap dog either and do whatever she wants her way I am looking for a 50/50 situation and it seems like either it’s her way or she is mad.

Am I doing something wrong? I am trying to be a man and be here for my kid, because I hate what happened to me. I am trying to work things out with her while cleaning, cooking, looking for work, and doing school work. But things just don’t seem to get better. Is there any advice for a situation like this? And if I sound selfish believe me I am trying to be anything but that hence why I am asking for help. I want to work things out for my kid more than anything but I would like us to either get along and want some kind of relationship or move on before we both get real hurt from forcing something that is not going to happen.