So, I understand the words of many posts here, some that even resonate deep within my soul; however, I want to hear from those people who have been diagnosed as Borderline who also have concurrent/secondary issues such as eating disorders and substance abuse. I think depression and anxiety are pretty much a given with the diagnosis of BPD, but would love to hear from you as well.

I have only recently been diagnosed as Borderline and while the diagnosis has shed light on many aspects of my life that are and have been very difficult for me, it doesn't change my struggles. I should note here, if it isn't obvious, that I am not in any sort of recovery for any of the above named issues. They still control my life. So, I'm curious ... rather need guidance as far as how to handle the aspects of these disorders as the conflict with each other. I'll explain:

1. How do you cope with the anxiety and depression associated with your eating disorder/body image and your substance abuse? I find myself restricting my caloric intake of food to allow for the calories in the alcohol I so desperately need. (Except when I drink just enough that it makes it "okay" to eat), so I binge, feel like s**t the next day and want to drink to cope... Ringing any bells to anyone??

2. I am in treatment though I find is so excruciatingly uncomfortable that I feel the need to drink prior to a session to ease the tension. After the session, I'm so rattled that I feel the need to drink. And Dr. Linehan doesn't advise DBT treatment until all therapy-interfering behaviors are resolved (alcoholism). This makes me want to drink.

3. So, I drink ... feel fat, say screw it, binge, feel fat, drink ... wake up sober, feel fat and want to drink because I feel fat. I'm wondering if anyone sees a cycle here?

4. Additionally, my inability to form meaningful realtionships (mistrust, withdrawal, isolation, inappropriate attachment) makes me want to drink to forget or give me the ability to fantasize about having those things. and low and behold, drinking makes me feel fat ...

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this and am wondering if anyone has had success with breaking the cycle, any helpful tools, insight, support, etc. And I don't wanna hear s**t like, "just stop drinking."

Sincerely,