Thanks Kaliope,

I don't know who I really am. I don't understand who I am. I have been struggling for weeks but have managed to push past it and hide it. I have came on here and been "bubbly" if you can call it that and have been having a good time reading people's post's most of the post's are interesting. I know what I should be doing is getting better. But it's like I don't want to get better or don't know how to get better.

I understand Bipolar and how it affects my life as ironically this was my job before I got sacked. I know I can get over things but I find it hard to get over it. I thought I was out of the denial stage..... I have had my diagnosis for 9 months now been on meds 8 months. But apparently I am in denial.

Last night I couldn't even look at my friend I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. I have always been the strong one, the one no-one knew what she was thinking, never showing emotions. Since becoming depressed in 2009 I constantly cry and show my emotions.

I keep having recurring dreams where I trip/fall and break a bone/die etc!!?? I also have dreams of kids being hit????!?!?!? this one confuses me.

I just feel lost in every sense of the word