Thank you.

Saw T today. Awkward. After posting in another thread, I did send him an email so he already knew I was mad and sad before we had our session.

We talked about TRUST and the incident. (It was not a supervision situation, nor colleague. He shared it with his secretary because a sentence in my email requested my appointment be rescheduled. The rest discussed ambivalence I was feeling as a result of some recent conversations in therapy.) I told T he constantly looks at things through T goggles and sometimes, I wish he could see things through Client goggles. Just because I trusted him enough to send him an email, and he trusted his staff enough to forward my email and trust them not share it, doesn't mean I trust the staff member enough. I don't have the relationship with his staff member, he does. Told him I was angry. I had taken him at his word. Asked him about something he said to me previously about how our goal in therapy is to work hard within the boundaries of our therapy relationship and how hard I work to honor his boundaries, and yet he didn't honor mine. I asked how that was fair?

Told him I thought it was a forgivable offense, not fatal. Truthfully, I don't know what it is, yet? Time will tell. I cried alot. Lots of pain. Old and new. This whole incident has triggered many things about my past which I can't articulate.

He said I am a paradox. Whatever that means?