ok... in my opinion honey....
you wish to fall in love.. but your scared to let others see the 'darker' side to you ?..

there is nothing wrong with as you say Nasty sex.. i am assuming you mean like BDSM ...

there is always the darker half as i often refer to it as..
you wish for Raunchy and nasty sex but you also don't want to be considered a freak...
"i would be humiliated if someone i loved a LOT had dirty raunchy sex with me." All this says to me is that cause you think about it alot... you wanna have someone who understands sexually you want to be slightly humilated as you find that a bit of a kink... ( please correct me if i'm wrogn about any of this)
unfortunately eveyrone has this dark side to them.. it's if you play it out or not that is the major question honey