Oh wow. These are great. I'm so proud of everyone.

But just a heads-up... I'm ... nervous about sharing mine. I was also just reading through allme's thread and some of the negative comments... and I'm scared to open up now. Please everyone, be gentle. I'm still new around here, and many of the items are very sensitive, close to my heart.

So here goes...

Some of these below items I've talked about with my T. Some I have worked on on my own, but I think the tools and advice and encouragement from my T helped me to make these items a reality. Some are items/struggles I have never mentioned to my T, and I feel ashamed about.

1. On July 24, I will be 9 months sober. From all drugs/alcohol. This is not the first sober stint I've tried but for the first time since I started using/drinking/etc when I was a young teen, I feel like drugs and alcohol don't hold power over me. I'm not trying to resist a temptation to indulge; it's as if the need to/struggle not to is gone. My ability to be sober also gives me confidence that I can make longterm changes to my life style and behaviors.
2. I haven't stolen anything in almost 2 years. After years of manic shoplifting sprees. Oh, and I haven't been in a psych ward for 2.5 years, and I haven't been in an emergency room for 20 months or so.
3. With T's helping, I'm learning that it's okay to take up a little space in the world. There is room for me.
4. I might get angry, frustrated, withholding, doubting, cynical, and lonely between sessions. I may lose faith in my T or the process, I may get overly dependent, I may get resentful. But each week, without fail, if I want to meet, T's door is open. He is here to help me. And he is consistently supportive, warm, encouraging, and he believes in my goodness, my character, and that I contribute positively every day to the world and to the people around me.
5. I've developing conflict resolution skills and learning how to stand up and advocate for myself. I'm learning I can disagree with someone without feeling like I'm betraying them or that they will stop liking me.
6. I'm learning to ask for what I need from others, especially in terms of emotional support and expectations.
7. I'm not as bad as I think I am. (I used to think I was very very bad, but now I'm starting to be more gentle with myself so I'm just kinda bad. I may also be kinda good, but I'm still working on that concept... It's so different from my past self-talk and self-regard.)
8. I need to keep an eye out for self-destructive behaviors and thought patterns, so I can lean on my support system, talk about it with T, and be kind to myself, so my darkness doesn't lead me down perilous paths.
9. I'm learning to cultivate strong, honest friendships with people I genuinely like and respect.
10. I'm learning to be vulnerable in the presence of another person. And that failure isn't something to be ashamed of, that trial and error is a part of the process, and our failures and successes, laughter and tears, are all part of the human condition. That a friend isn't going to run away because I'm having trouble and need advice. That doesn't make me a broken, unlovable person.
11. I'm holding true to my responsibilities and commitments: education, service, social. Or at least getting better at the follow-through.
12. When negative, dark thoughts come, I now can look at the darkness and say, "This isn't going to be forever. These feelings and doubts and despair will subside sometime. I can't let the darkness now persuade me to take self-destructive actions. I trust my T that I should live--and live happily as the actual me."
13. It is okay to ask for help. I am not a burden to my friends and family.. and to my T.
14. I have quirks. I'm odd. That's okay. It's part of what makes me... me. My mom once told me, when I worried I was going 'round the bend with all my craziness, that "it's good to be a little crazy." Thanks for loving me as me, Mom
15. There are people out in the world rooting for me. For ME! Which embarrasses the heck out of me, but... it's a happy little thought. Like a little candle to hold in the darkness. A reminder that I'm not alone.
16. I've accepted my T's argument that life is worth living. I'm not thinking about ways to punish myself, harm myself, or bring about dangerous situations for myself. I'm not pursuing sexual relationships with inappropriate people. I'm working to cultivate a healthy relationship with food, sleep, and exercise. I'm not experimenting with self-harm or "ways to dull the pain of existence," including things that might end my existence. I trying to say yes to life!
17. In other words, I've learned to protect myself from other people.. and from myself.
18. I'm trying (still struggling though) to forgive myself for my past mistakes, transgressions, and failures. And maybe to be proud of the good things I've done.
19. Maybe I can live in a world without my mom. Maybe I am strong enough, my mother's daughter, and she will continue to be a part of my life, though she is not longer of this world... Ah, I can't type about her without starting to cry, so let's leave Mom talk for another thread.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

20. If not for T and my progress and growth over the last few years, I would not be sharing all of this with everyone. Truly, I wouldn't have shared it with anyone! So T has helped me be a contributing member of PC. Yippee!!