Quote:
Originally Posted by SoupDragon
My T wants me to focus on my own needs more and not on other peoples. But what if there is a greater power who put me on this earth for the purpose of caring for others - would I like who I would become if I started putting myself first?
I guess I am just thinking am I being unrealistic in expecting this massive transformation in myself. I can maybe get to a point where I can talk about my experiences with T and they become less overwhelming - but that will never negate that they happended, that they had an impact on me that changed me forever and set me on this path.
When do I start to accept me as I am right now and stop striving for change that may never come.
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I too have asked some of these same questions...here is what I think for myself...Nothing I can do will ever change what happened to me in the past....but the therapy will change the power it has over me. I will come to accept what has happened as being in the past and it will set me on a path to allow me to decide how I am going to be now and in the future...
I expect that some day what now I must "practice" and put conscious thought into (like expressing my true feelings) will someday just start happening without a lot of effort and then my effort will be used for other changes....that life is the journey and not the destination....and I'm hoping to have some fun along the way too. Personally, I don't want to become a totally different person just a healthier, happier version...
As far as taking care of yourself...my personal views are this....I struggle with thinking I'm important enough to spend time on...I too like to take care of others and I do believe in God who says we are to love others ...but my T. pointed out to me that even the Bible says we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves....that even the Bible makes the presumption that we are to love ourselves...
It is difficult for me to accept that I've had some of these issues start in early childhood and now I'm fortysomething...and I can't expect that I will change overnight but that doesn't mean change can't happen.....
I hope some of this is helpful....