thinking of you cats, I know this isn't easy for you!
maybe the relationship can be repaired, maybe not, but it sure shouldn't continue as it is, that much I know.
I know you do love her; perhaps she loves you, too! but maybe she has more attachment to you than she ought as well after all this time, and some of that is behind all this trouble right now with how she is acting toward you. sometimes ppl we love we treat in more cavalier ways, just because of the familiarity with them, and I see her doing that to you.....
I wish the best for you, since I have come to feel a certain cyber-fondness for you!