This depression is just so debilitating. It consumes my every waking hours and sleeping ones as well. I’m trying so hard to get my life back with nothing concrete to show for my time put in. A broken limb can be mended but a broken mind just goes on forever. The more I try to deal with this child abuse stuff the worse I feel. That little person lived through holy hell in more ways than one. Now as I try to put the pieces back together I’m finding it a very hard task.
I woke up feeling so sad today but I don’t know why. I used my CPAP and only woke up twice last night so I got some sleep. My therapist says I need to cry but I can’t. She says I need to scream but I can’t. There is just nothing in me. Nobody is home here. I don’t know how I feel most of the time. I just exist. I keep trying to cope but I am just too tired of the whole mess. It seems like I have been fighting this crap forever.