Hey Cats, I just have one quick question. Is your t about the same age as yourself? You have gotten so much feedback that has been truly worth listening. I know that this is not a decision that can be made solely on logic with out the emotional mind piece being considered. She has been a huge (mostly supportive) figure in your life for 8 yrs!

As you disclose more information about such unprofessional things that she has said to you it really makes me sad and angry. Of course a client would come to the conclusion that she is trying to push them away when she has herself admitted to this apalling behavior. Medical doctors take a hippocratic oath when they receive their liscensure and first and foremost is to do no harm to the patient. Being intentionally mean or derogatory to a client that she wishes to not care for any longer is indeed DOING HARM. Her words and behaviors are affecting your mental illness and emotional stability. You are a vulnerable client and she is the professional doctor.

Now with all that said there is a whole picture here to look at. According to you she has helped you a lot in the past and you have been her client for a long time. Relationships of any sort are messy and difficult to navigate especially one of this nature. It is my hope for you that it doesn't end right now. Not this way. I sincerely hope your old t calls you back so you can get some professional advice and support about this. Maybe a third party intervention (like couples counseling) is a possibiltiy? Just for a session or two. I would surely think her language and comments would be more accurate and nonjudgemental with another proffesional present. What ever you decide you will need lots of support.

I myself quit seeing a homeopath provider that was doing classical homeopathy on me and therapy at the same time. I was so attached to her and I also felt that she would punish me at times. I ended the relationship and it hurt...BAD! But it does get easier. The loneliness did lessen after a while. It has been over a year and I still wish to talk to her at times. I wrote her an email expressing that I still missed her and was amazed at how long it had been. She never replied and it is probably for the best. I realized I wasn't paying for her services, I didn't give a darn about the potions she would give me. I was trying to pay her for something she could never give me. I wanted her to be my mom. It was unfair to her that she didn't know what exactly I wanted. I am sure it was just as frustrating and painful for her at times. I do just want to be clear that she never spoke to me in the unprofessional manner your t has or said intentionally hurtful things. So it is not the same situation, only similar in the fact that there was an huge attachment on my behalf and it did end abruptly due to unresolved conflict.

Maybe you could do some soul searching when she is away and make a list of all the things you want from your t. What are you really paying her for and is it something she can give to you? If you can't get what you need from her is there someone else who could help you. Could you go to her for your meds and another t for therapy sessions? The relationship wouldn't be completely lost just shifted. You wouldn't lose her and you would gain more support.

My t says now that he does want me to be dependent on him and he wants to increase my circle of support at the same time. That sounds gentle to me and I am willing to work with that.

I will be thinking of you today at your appointment. You don't have to make a decision today. You will know when you know.