I actually went out and filled up my bird feeders today. I put up a clean hummingbird feeder with fresh home-made nectar. Now I can see birdies from by bed. Also, I can see them real good when I'm washing dishes at the sink, WHICH I ACTUALLY DID TODAY.

As "OurLadysTears" encouraged, I will try to hang onto the bit of hope that flickered in me today. I really will try.

I even talked to a neighbor (and his dogs) who lives in his own house next to my apartment complex. He's very shy, as am I. It took about a year for us to say "Hello." He doesn't know how grateful I am to him, but he was thanking me for chatting with him. So that's a big start to my day. I better build on it, while the wind is at my back thanks to these good things happening. May it please not get too oppressively hot today.

On and off, I've been hearing my heart beat in my left ear - quite a lot of the time. Next week I see a doctor about it. From what I've "googled" there is not a lot to be done about that. It's not distressing, just kind of weird.

Yesterday, I started taking my PRN anxiety medication, which I had not bothered with for months. Maybe, I'll stick with that again today. I don't like to get used to Benzos, because of the withdrawal when I stop. First you take them for anxiety, and then you end up taking them just to avoid the stress of stopping them. That's been my experience, anyway.

So today, I'm less deptessed AND I even went outside and talked to someone. I better do something else positive before the glow wears off.