Thanks Aquaman, Widgets and SoupDragon

I can't tell people things sometimes as people won't understand. My family don't even know about my feelings or negative thoughts. I find it hard to talk face to face and am kinda unsure about talking to my CPN on Wednesday. It's took me a life time to talk to my best friend. My best friend made me promise her I would talk to my Support Worker. I hate disappointing my best friend so I HAD to talk.

I still think I would be better not being here, but I am not feeling overly sui.... I feel really stupid for telling my GP on Monday that I am fine. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I am struggling to not talk online to these guys I have "befriended" I think I will be ok and not speak to them but kinda want to. I don't know if I am depressed or manic at the moment????

What advice can you guys offer even if it's tough love I need something