(((((Nicole))))))

Been there, done that. I understand. There actually was a worse time for me........when I admitted to my T that I had googled him. Absolutely mortifying.
I understand that it must be excrutiatingly hard to go back............to even face going back. First of all, congrats for telling her. Yes it is difficult, hard, embarrassing. But if you can face going back..........just think about it.............imagine how you will feel if she still accepts you, is there for you, doesn't think less of you? It is liberating. It opens up therapy to a whole other level. You took the ultimate risk by telling her, stick around to see if it will pay off.
I have had this happen now with two therapists. Neither one abandoned me. Both were warm, accepting, trying to help me make sense of it. What does it mean? I disagree when you say the feelings are not real. I understand that you cannot love someone you don't know, or cannot fully love someone when it is a one sided relationship..........meaning it is all about you, you get the best of them(most of the time), etc. But one of the best things my current T says to me is............first, do not ever apologize for your feelings and second, why do feelings have to make sense? Your feelings are real to you. You feel like you love her in whatever respect that means to you. Yes, they may represent some unmet needs in the past, usually from childhood, but that does NOT mean they are NOT real. The pain comes in because there are limits in therapy, but that is also where the safety comes in as well. Embrace your feelings. Enjoy them. Don't be scared of them. Find out what they mean. Therapy is a place for you to fix whatever issues brought you there in the first place, in the safety net of the therapeutic relationship.
If you T is worth her salt, she will not abandon you. She will stick by you. She will be proud that you told her. She has probably heard this before from others. It is common and very normal. One of the hardest things you may ever do is to go back and face her.........if you can't do it in group(if I got that right?) then do it in your individual session. But if you stop now, then you are doing what you are worried she will do...........terminate. And trust me, I know how tough it is. But face it and it will probably be a huge turning point, a new level of trust, another layer of the onion to peel off. You have support here. People can pocket ride if you want. I would be happy too. Be sure to let us know how it goes. And be proud that you told her.....many people just quit, never go back, and never tell their Ts. I am SO GLAD I told both of my T's. It is the best thing I ever did for my therapy.