My employer lost the bid to challenge my right to get my unemployment check. It is $192/week, but that is enough to pay my rent and utilities. So I still have a roof over my head. I am amazed at how I have been able to handle my small income and food stamps to meet my obligations. We don't always know what is possible until we have to cope with tight circumstances.

I must find work, because these checks won't go on forever. Also, a moral obligation of accepting the checks is that I be making an honest effort to find work. I am so lonely at home and I want to have a job to go to that I can succeed at. My capabilities are not as good as they used to be. But there must be something. Mainly I cannot work as fast as I used to be able to.

Their is a non-profit advocacy agency that is helping me apply for subsidized housing. I don't want to apply for SSDI, because I believe I can and should work. And I will feel so much better if I can succeed at a job. And I will see people every day, which will make me less lonely. Still, I may never make the good wages I made as a professional, so the advocacy agency thinks it would be wise to apply for the section 8 voucher. I could stay right in the apartment I have, because my landlord already takes section 8 voucher from other tenants. (I guess you call it "section 8." I still don't understand all the terminology.) But, I don't feel so scared as I did when I started this thread. If I can manage my own affairs without having to ask for family help, It will mean a lot to me. We are not a close family at all. I don't want to be resented as a burden. Thank you to all for good feedback.