Thank you guys soo much.

I was soo wishing the mania would stop. Now I'm thinking I'd rather be manic. Sometimes I forget the pain of the down mood. I never ease into it either. It's just BAM!!! The Sui thought are right there in an instant. I noticed last two nights and days I've been really tired too and sleeping no problem. Ugh tempting to use sleep deprivation to switch this around. Anyone use that method ?

I can't take antidepressants so I'm always at a loss in this mood. Mood stabilizer only goes so far and apparently isn't helping that much. The desperate feelings to not go into the depression are enough on their own.