Welcome, Laura. Don't be afraid to try a new med...some combination will relieve the stress of holding up that "mask" and hopefully DH can see how much better you feel while taking them. Check the boards for others' experiences with geodon...it may help alleviate your fears abt taking it.
We all have done embarrassing things while manic...we just have to move on. Leave what's in the past back there. And forgive yourself.