Frist of all I' would like to thank those of you who reply to my posts on this. 2 of all I will be making up my mine in April depending on the out come of my SSI hearing, If I get that I may have to leave P.C. for awhile till I can get things strighten out for myself. I can see nothing is going to help me by staying in this, It is time I stopped and think about myself, If I stay in this I will fall in to a deerer depression then I'm already in, I feel if I stay here I will loose my mine and ending up in some hospital for me loosing me mine,I know you all have tried to help me,I am saden that I have to do some of these things to help myself to find happyness. This time in my life I realy fell, I'm just very sad that this was what my dieing mother was trying to tell me. I have let her down ,I must have been a big disappointment to her the way I turned. I faild her and many others in my life becouse of this ,I know if I leave I'll come back to all this again, I just won't do it, I won't be able to trust anyone ever again, I know the world is full of lise,Now who do you trust or turn to when you having nothing and you have to start over with nothing and no family to fall back on to? All my life I've never did anything right and this just proves it, Scence my mother died and all this stuff has happen to me I know I suffer from depression and maybe more,I thought I was gointg to be ok with out have a mental disorder,Sence it is in my family. would you all do the same thing there? I just don't know what else to do this mess,If I don't get it (SSI) I gues I'll become homeless, Anything is better then this!!!!!!!! Anone heard of the song SimplePlan Untitled ? Well that how I feel..