hi, i am an out gay man and member of the lgbt forum here at PC. like yourself, i am older, have weight, appearance, social anxiety, PTSD and (pre-)diabetes issues and have not found a lot of welcoming in the community. feel welcome to PM me.

i understand your need for acceptance and friendship and love. is there an lgbt center in seattle? does it have 12-step program meetings? usually, there are compassionate people in those meetings. it would give you practice talking and doing fellowship afterwards would help socially.

as for hanging out with gay men . . . so much of the scene consists of former tricks who become friends. i've never been comfortable with it since i don't sleep around much. the gay men that i know want sex with other gay men or curious straight men. you actually might find more interested straight men. however, before you explore that option, i would suggest exploring your personal interests and hobbies as meeting others with the same interests would facilitate conversation and friendship. for instance, if you like cinema, going the the lgbt film festival or gay themed movies shown in gay neighborhood theaters. are there many lgbt coffee shops in seattle where you could hang?