I agree with all of the posts, that you have a right to feel bothered and should follow what you want to do, which means waiting for a referral and not paying out of your pocket. Since this is a mothers group, I would imagine they're kind of intense to begin with, as with any kind of group that's formed online or in a commmunity. It's also so easy to make quick judgements especially when we hear about a dreaded heart condition - this would naturally make some helicopter mom's want to sell stuff just to get this appointment done lol. If they really had to be in your shoes and financially strapped, then they would probably do what you're doing. Like Perna said this isn't an emergency, life saving split second decision and if it was I'm sure you would go outside your insurance. In the end this is you and your families decision and I think it's the right one.