That's difficult when another person close to us won't even discuss what is important to us.

Have you asked for hugs/kisses or tried to initiate only those? My DH and I have a lot of "play" in our marriage that includes my standing on a step (any/every :-) so I'll be the "right" height for a really good hug. When one of us sees a step (even sometimes out in public) we'll often alert the other with a cry of, "Assume the position!" My husband has a painful foot and I massage it many nights while he reads aloud to me from a book of my choosing. I always go to him for a "bottom pat" before going up to bed.

See if you can offer a back rub or some "comforting" physical touch and gradually get back some of the physical connection between the two of you without involving "sex"? Just getting that connection going again can help other connections (conversation!) and move you in the direction you want to go.

Have you suggested couples therapy and told her in no uncertain terms that you are feeling sad about lack of physical touch from her?