Sparkle
I am new here too. I want to welcome you. One thing I wanted to caution you on is meeting people on line can be dangerous if you decide to meet them outside of cyberspace. Just proceed with caution. I am sorry for your past abuse, it is a lot to struggle with as we get older. Maybe talking to a good therapist can get all those inner feelings out. It is good you kept a diary of things, maybe one day you will want to write a book about what happened. Writing is very theraputic. Good luck to you.
4peace

You are of God little children and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4