Jan,

My sister is disabled due to malpractice. She is almost completely blind now, has almost no equilibrium, and is in constant pain from her fused leg. The reason I mention her is not to compare disabilities, minimize yours or anyone elses, but because I use her fortitude to get through some of my toughest days.

She found a house and through SSI and a state disability dept? was able to modify things in the house that fit her particular disability. Is something like this possible for you? She is also able to use a van service that helps her shopping and gets help with cleaning her home. She found out all of this through the disability office.

Also, as regards to the time you spent on outings with your friend, perhaps you could start a new tradition and have coffe, watch a movie, discuss a book?

I am thinking of you and wish you well. Pain can be very draining and consuming, no matter where it comes from -
Anne