I left message with my T today and promised her that I would be as honest as I possibly can in the future and come out of my hiding and I told her that saying this gave me the heebie jeebies. I told her that I was making a huge leap of faith and trust and I wanted her to know that she holds so much power over me now. And I said I know I can't make progress if I keep back and I'll do anything I can to find the courage to keep going.