It is hard for me to connect the Little Girl with the woman's body I am currently living in.
The parents of the little girl never nurtured her. They never would have understood. They wouldn't even understand today if they were told all the bad things that the church man did to the Little Girl.
I have spoken with my T since I abruptly hung up on her.
I know she cares so much. At times it is a very confusing concept for the Little Girl to grasp. She needs so much attention and when she is really hurting and gets no validation she pushes the Good People away. She is so afraid she is going to be abandoned again that the thought of it nearly sends her running scared.
Have different 3 "parts" live in one mind is so draining.
And sometimes I just want to give up because I am not sure just how much longer I can go on.
When I spoke to my T this morning she said that sometimes the battle just seems tougher then other times and I have to keep fighting...I am doing all I can.
I have good thoughts then horrible thoughts then semi okay thoughts. It is so jumbled at times in my head.
And, believe it or not, it is a very scarey and unsure feeling to "feel good" because it is such unfamiliar territory.
__________________
|