the book im currently going through is called...
Managing Intense Emotions and Overcoming Self-Destructive Habits (A Self-Help Manual) by Lorraine Bell. Its very intensive and hard going. Getting through the first chapter nearly made me want to die but its Borderline Personality Disorder down to a fine art. The author of this book is a consultant clinical psychologist for a uk NHS trust and she has worked in adult mental health for 20 years and specialises in the treatment of women with serious mental health problems (however the book isnt gender specific and is aimed at the all)
The isbn for this book in case you may be interested is 978-1-58391-915-6

i know what you mean about the tremendous anxiety you feel when confronting this subject. i only do it in bite-size chunks otherwise im a jumbled mess

welcome to the forums and i hope you get what you need from around here xxxxxx