I posted in the Dear T thread but realized I wanted responses. Since the session with my H, I'm feeling sexual stuff for my T. During the session, I didn't realize how much I compare her to him, and unfortunately, I feel more for my T. I remember looking into her eyes and seeing the compassion she has for me. She gives me much more than my H does--emotionally and physically. It's always been that way in therapy and I've always known it, but I don't always feel it so vividly.

I want to feel that way towards my H and his going to my session with me may be a step in the right direction, but I'm not sure. We want to stay together--it's been so many years, but I get my needs met in therapy, not at home, pathetic as that sounds.

I feel like I "use" my Ts in this way but at least I've been honest with them about it. I know it's more about intimacy than sex but the good feelings get all mixed up in my mind. I "love" my T for being the person she is, and I feel so connected to her. I'm doing work on different issues and I'm happy about that. I know it's partly child needs and partly adult needs I get from her. I know if my H isn't meeting my needs, it's natural that I want my T to meet them. I know transference plays a part in this too. But it's my T's eyes I'm looking into. I don't know how she's going to help me with this. My H just accepts our marriage as it is; he's content, but I'm not!