You can really only change yourself and your perspective? If you are not worried about the names she calls you, are confident in yourself and who you are, then they shouldn't bother you to be called them; it should puzzle you a little that she calls you those names. I use the phrase, "your mother wears combat boots" to see the difference between name calling that makes no difference (because my mother does not wear them and, if she did, I'd think, "so what"?) and name calling that strikes some nerve and makes me feel bad.

Feelings are all our own; other people don't "make us feel bad", we do it to ourselves through our relationship to ourselves. If other people could make us feel bad, all people would feel equally as bad at each criticism? But it happens that criticisms that hurt are tailor-made to us based on our own background and world view.

I have always been very honest, and known myself to be so, but had a boyfriend who would claim that if I was not with him, I was "obviously" with another man. That use to make me livid because there was no way I could make him believe/know that I wasn't like that and was not with another man and that his whole premise didn't follow. That's the trap we fall into; we look at the other person and their point of view and try to change that instead of looking at why we, ourselves, are bothered by what they say.

Look at and challenge her criticisms within your own self; "accept" that she sees you in this way for some reason and realize that it is how SHE sees you, not how you are.

"You are mean". Think about that internally. Reflect it and get more information from her about her statement/point of view? Ask her, "About what in particular?" or, "Why do you say that?" If someone told me "You are mean!" it would remind me of the taunts of childhood?

Remember when you or your friends would get really frustrated but didn't have the words to express it and had to resort to what you now, as an adult, see as "silly" rejoinders? It sounds like your foreign girlfriend gets frustrated because she does not get her way or something she wants and doesn't have the words yet or ability to express it very well? If she is very dependent on you emotionally or financially, etc. she almost has to criticize you because she has/knows no other way to get what she wants or needs? If you deny her, she is like a denied child because of her dependence.

Help her become more independent? Help her become happier and healthier in her own life and she won't have to criticize you, she will be able to address her own needs. But if you like her dependence, foster it and don't help her grow, she will be stuck (unless she herself decides to work hard to become independent without your help) and only have you to relate to (like a parent).