I was listening to a show on Cuba/Castro and there was one old guy who has been part of fighting Castro for almost the whole 50 years and he realized that when Castro dies, it will be a whole different situation for him, what he's been working on for 50 years will have gone away and he'll have to re-orient his life.

Maybe the struggle to get the grant was what you were enjoying and now that you will get the fix, you have "succeeded" and have to move on to something else? You won't have anything to "complain" about when you get what you want, will have to create a new focus.

It can be scary; maybe you will expect more of yourself now that you will be more able and are worried you won't be able to deliver?