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Hi ~ Bless your heart -- you have no desire to do anything because you're so severely depressed!! I've been where you are, and it's awful !!
What I would do is get in contact with my medical doctor & tell him about the depression -- and ask him if medication would be possible. There is NOTHING wrong with taking an antidepressant -- they aren't addictive -- you become physically dependent on them, and that's a FAR CRY from addiction. Some of us just don't produce enough of the 'hormones, etc' to counteract the depression. The antidepressant replaces those elements so that we feel "normal" -- whatever that is. LOL
I've been depressed since I was a child -- so I've been on antidepressants for years. It allows me to focus -- it keeps me from obsessing about my "lot in life;" I'm able to function & make decisions without getting caught up in my problems. To make it short -- my life is MUCH better now since i began antidepressants.
I think that once you get your depression under control, you will see that you CAN still go back to school; you CAN achieve your life's desire of becoming a pilot, or whatever it was you were heading for. You'll find a way to get the proper funding to go back to school. Everything will fall into place, one at a time. You are still young -- you have plenty of time to do what you want -- and you WILL want things again. Right now, you're just stuck in a mire of depression.
Talk to your doc -- or if you just plain don't want medication -- get into therapy. You might check with your county's Mental Health agency and see if they offer counseling based on your ability to pay. It might be very cheap -- some places even offer it for free if you qualify. Best of luck and God bless. Be good to yourself! Hugs, Lee
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