Years ago, I shared a lot with my H about therapy. I didn't understand my needs or transference. My H said I was in love with my T and I should move in with her. He hated my being in therapy and understood it less than I did. All he knew was that I thought about my T all the time. I couldn't help it. I started telling him less.

Through the years, I tried to tell him about therapy because I didn't want to shut him out. But he always saw it as "choose me or your T" Perhaps he was right. I haven't changed. But it hurt me that he didn't show an interest in my therapy at all.

I don't share too much with him now since he still isn't interested. He doesn't understand IFS or show any interested in learning about it. He was never interested to read anything about BPD and thinks I'm bipolar though I've told him the difference. He has agreed to come with me to therapy now and then to work on our marriage. He still thinks all I get from therapy is an "addiction to my T" no matter what else I say. He doesn't validate anything I get from therapy so why bother telling him? He doesn't get the "shame" stuff I've been working on. He's not "into" feelings at all.