Hey Defeated,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles; comorbidity is really common with psychological disorders. I'm finishing my degree to become a therapist and have also been diagnosed as BPD and OCD... I have issues with eating and body image too. I can't give up food because I like it too much, so I purge. I have a super addictive personality and when I party, I party hard... in that respect it's a real struggle to know when I've reached my limit so I try really hard not to drink at all.

Aside from all of that, I wanted to mention something about the relationships that you're striving to have. I've always had somewhat tumultuous relationships and have had a difficult time staying faithful... I have a real tendency to push people away by telling myself that they don't really care about me, they don't want to be with me; but in all reality, that isn't the truth. I can't get it out of my head though so I just push them away until I can't handle it anymore and I leave.

About 3 years ago I left my ex-husband and moved back to California and wanted to figure out why I constantly push people away. I started seeing an imago therapist to try to understand and resolve the issues. This therapy teaches you why you choose the people you do and why your relationships turn out as they do. I have never in my life had anything that helped me so much!!! I have been able to maintain an extremely healthy and happy relationship with my boyfriend and have learned how to communicate and stop projecting my feelings onto him or provoking him to make me feel the way I used to. If I could give you ANY ADVICE, it would be to read the book "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix... it completely changed my life!!! There's hope out there, I promise. Best of luck to you!!!

Jewels