Hello Sarah. I'm so very sorry that this has happened to you. My Mom killed herself, too, so I think I understand some of what you're going thru.

Your loss is very recent. 2 1/2 months is still very fresh, and suicide is such a complex death that the grief isn't the same as other kinds of loss.

There's a group called Survivors of Suicide that has in-person support groups as well as on line support that I attended for 3 years and it was invaluable. They are nationwide = if you put it in yahoo or google it should pull it right up.

Also, please feel free to post here. You can express all of the different emotions that you feel and will be feeling.

My experience was that dealing with the shattering and the horror of the fact of the suicide took the whole 1st year, and only during the 2nd year and thereafter, (to this day), did I begin to actually start grieving for the loss of my Mom. Also, there are really a lot of emotions that don't follow any kind of 'traditional' order, and a lot of anger, etc.

There are more books available now re: a Mother's suicide = also there's a website that I think is called 'daughtersofsuicide' or something close to that that deals with all of the feelings of 'will I do this too' and 'we are our Mother's daughters' shame issues, etc.

It's a long journey, Sarah, but you WILL make it, although it won't feel like that a lot of the time.

I'll watch for your posts on here, so come back, OK?

Best regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>