Hi Jare,
It is not unusual for a guy your age to look around and wonder. The looking at younger girls is because you are looking at them differently now than when you were at that age. Many times at that age a boy can either get a crush or be totally turned off by girls. Usually girls that age get these little crushes on boys and the boys feel uncomfortable. So right now you are looking at them in a different light.

And it is also not unusual be attracted to older women as well. When my daughter was your age and a year or two older the boys had a nick name for me. Well I finally found out what that meant, here at PC. It was the last thing I would have expected. I suppose it was a compliment but I guess looking back I was so unaware. And they all called me the same name so I thought I was considered a weirdo or something and that it was a hip name for moms. I just went over my head Jare.

And as far as other guys, remember that suit I told you about, much of that has to do with comparing and seeing what some of the girls might be attracted to. You are at the awkward stage remember, your real potential wont be revealed until your around 18. And even then you will grow some more. And I will remind you that girls can openly show affection while guys really cant and they kind of struggle with that.

It sounds to me like your right on track Jarebear. Also there is a lot of openness where you are and things are more out in the open and accepted. It doen't mean you have to go along with what others do.

I hope that you are still coming to the states this fall. It will be interesting to see what you think about the difference. Ofcourse you will still be around others in that raging hormone approaching stage. And there is a new awareness that you are just discovering, normal. And your opinion about you being hideious, that is normal too as your body is changing and you are going through that just plain awkward stage.

You will be ok.

Open Eyes