(((((starving4perfection)))))) thats a tough situation! I can relate to some extent , but of course not completely. I also had a strained relationship with my dad, right up until he passed, and often felt hurt by him. I have to admit i kind of regret the fact that i didnt try to get closer to him before he died... he spent his last 8-9 months in the hospital and i avoided him as much as possible. Guess i will always have that what if in the back of my mind... take care of you