I've read both threads, and I think that this relationship is sadly doomed. She says that you were physically abusive. If this is the case then you need help. If it isn't the case then you can't stay with someone who'd lie about you that way. In either case you can't remain together. She clearly doesn't feel safe around you, and you clearly don't trust her. You misrepresent her by claiming you gave her money, as though a purely motivated benefactor, when in fact it was money you owed her, with which she could do as she pleased.

If you can't trust her and she can't feel safe around youl, then what on earth do you think is left worth saving? Time, I believe, for you both to let it go.