(((hugs))) If nothing's working this way, time to try another way. Hopefully your spouse will join you in the effort. There is free (yes, free, no commission no charge) credit counseling available. If nothing else, they can show your creditors that you want to pay your bills. They can also work out agreements that ppl by themselves often can't.

I applaud you wishing to stick with this and work through it. Good wishes.