I have been terribly traumatized in my life and the only thing that has helped is me going back to my past and dealing with it, crying, and god knows what else with a therapist who will not let me get away with talking about stuff that really isn't bothering me...trust me, if you don't look at these things and deal with them, no matter how often you think of them on your own, it will get worse and you may be as depressed as your father was.

You need some therapy that will help.