I am working with a T on these issues as well who has been teaching me to not accept his blame and to show empathy but with boundaries. For example, we were not talking of little sister, I am sorry you feel that way now what are you going to do about x? It is not okay for you to speak to me like that, stop it now. The boundary stuff is hard for me. I have not spoken to hubby about the T. I am also trying to remember that we all need to hear positive. Whatever I can give him praise on sincerely I must do. Good job getting the pee laundry back. Thanks for cleaning up that mess. I try to affirm that I know he is working hard at school with 19 credits. However, part of me says tough tootles kid, I worked full time and went to school and paid my own rent etc. He states that he feels like he is either working or in class. Funny what you said about the money thing. They do always have it for what they feel is important. I was happy that he took that responsibility. Also one of the Katrina rescues got tangled in the charger to his lap top and the repair is $100, I told him and he said that just as it was their responsibility to deal with the cat pee, it was mine for the computer and I should pay repair. I told him I paid for the last repair and wanted at least $25.00 for this one and he agreed.

Our attorney did say that part of what he will have to do is substance abuse evaluation and counseling for the dui pot. Cool.