i am trying really hard to not make my T all bad.she was so stern today with me.i was afraid not to talk to her and OMG i don't like that at all.i don't understand why she is doing this.i hate when she makes me afraid to not talk i don't know what is worse not being able to talk or being afraid not to talk.it feels awful to talk to her when i don't want to.i mean she seemed so angry and frustrated .she really pushed me and that scares me.i feel like she is starting to hate me so much.she even said she has had people clients that she has thought of as mean and snotty.does she think i am snotty.at one point she said i need to stop acting like she is torturing me. does she think I'm acting.i was so scared of her.does she not believe anything i say. these things are definitely taken out of context but this is all i took away with todays session.she said that she is doomed to be one of the bad people that i am going to think she hates me no matter what.she said again that she wishes i would trust her and trust the process.does she really hate me is this why she behaved the way she did.i don't understand.i cant make her bad in my mind i need her so bad.i know that i don't like that i need her and i hate to even acknowledge it most times but i do and I'm scared