I cut today. so my two week streek is up. I just feel so left out. my friend is getting all these kewl guys at the bar and i cant even go. the only thing i have ever wanted was a kid. and plus i want one before im 21. im ready for a kid. i have a stable job and a loving heart. but because u cant be a DD and go to the bars with ur friends i feel left out. today we went to one of her friends house and i got the feeling after about a hour that i was to leave. they didnt say get out i just got that feeling that they wanted to do something more. You know reading between the lines sort of stuff. he was nice and all but kissing my friend infront of me kind of gave me the for certain message. i know she is going through a divorce andf that its her life. but my life is in a stand still. i just want someone to love me and be with me. seems people are afraid of me because im not the thin girl. no im the fat girl and fat girls dont get guys.

im sorry im just jealous aned feeling sorry for myself cause i cant get a guy to even stick around me for more than ten minnutes.