Thank you so much, everyone, for your incredible support.

Even though I'm in this ugly, dark place, I think my body is somehow trying to work its way towards health....as I thought of something important to me today, reached out to get what I needed and have decided to do something about it once I get some sleep tonight.

*** WARNING: Sad story to follow ***

My dad passed away 4 years ago, in front of my then 5 year old daughter and my mom, less than an hour after visiting my daughter's school for grandparent visitation day. My dad always loved to take lots of pictures and had a 35mm camera that he took pictures with that day. No one in the family - including myself - has had the heart to finish that roll of film and get it developed, to see the final pictures that he took which, of course, include my daughter.

Now, 4 years later, I contacted my mom to get a hold of the camera and am taking it to a camera shop first thing to see if the roll of film can be developed.

I am SO sad and SO anxious to take this step....I haven't really accepted the fact that my dad is truly gone and haven't fully grieved his death. I love him dearly. I also have a lot of "unfinished business" when it comes to the physical and emotional abuse from my parents which I still tend to blame myself for.

I am hoping this endeavor will be a step towards progress....Wish me luck.