oh boy does this hit a note with me. I am so very stubborn about relying on T. I take breaks when I feel too needy. Last week I went away for a few days and he emailed me "I would like to know what your safety plan is if you get triggered while away, ie call L or tell J what is going on and ask for help if you are overwhelmed and flooded with fear and anxiety."

He wanted a phone call the next day, and I didn't do it...just because I should handle it myself. Today I will see him and I am a little concerned about what he might say about me not calling and how I am going to explain it. Yikes. I don't want to depend on him, I don't want to depend on family. I don't want to depend on friends. I want to do it myself...lol.