I saw T for an extra session yesterday...it was good, and helpful. I had sort of spewed out all of my feelings over the weekend, so I wasn't overwhelmed anymore, and we were able to talk about what's going on in my life and he was able to help me look at the situation and find ways to move forward.

I used to tell T all the time, "I'm not the same person out there that I am in here". Out in the world, I am grown up, someone people come to for help. In T's office I am sometimes grown up, sometimes little, and he is there to help me. I guess after 4 years of therapy, "therapy me" and "out in the world me" are a little more in alignment, but I am still there to be helped by T, not the other way around.

So, T's door opens to the waiting room. When I walked out, my 12 step sponsor was sitting there (it's a tiny office, so she was there and a couple and that was it). She sees one of the other two therapists in T's office (I actually recommended her). I was SHOCKED to find someone I know sitting there...it was like worlds colliding.

My sponsor is going through a lot with a relationship ending. We said "hi", hugged, I asked how she was doing, and she started telling me what's going on with her relationship that ended. She had found out some new and upsetting information yesterday and was telling me. I was listening and asking questions and I was suddenly SO aware of T walking around behind me...getting water, walking down the hall to the bathroom, going in and out of his office, etc. And it felt REALLY strange to know that T was seeing the "other Tree"...the Tree that lives out in the world.

It was a very "grown up" session, and despite the sad things going on, we laughed a lot, so it wasn't the whiplash that it could have been at other times. But it just felt so weird to have T see me talking to this other person. Our world so exists just in that office, and it spilled out a little. Not in a bad way. Just...weird.

I tend to want to think everything happens for a reason, so I'll be interested to hear T's thoughts/feelings about the whole thing. Total weirdness.